Phannie of the Opera learned to sing before she learned to talk. She could have been admitted into Juilliard at birth, but instead she waited until she reached the age of twenty. Four years of rigorous conservatory training made Phannie a world class mezzo-soprano. She was ready to make her debut at Chicago Lyric Opera as Azucena in Verdi s famous "Il Trovatore. Even though she was merely the understudy to the great Francesca Bellacini, Phannie was honored just to be able to rehearse the role of her dreams. She never expected to step up to the stage on opening night when the primadonna unexpectedly came down with a horrible flu. In the spotlight of the public, the bourgeoise lifestyle of the opera is glamorous. It s filled with expensive ballgowns, marble palaces, and music as large as the city. Though behind the scenes there is more vice and gluttony than one could find in a pigsty. Phannie just liked to sing. She didn t care about the drunken orgies, obscene fetishes, namedropping, gossip, and backstabbing rumors in which her costars indulged inside and outside of the opera house. Despite her modesty, Phannie couldn t help but express some concern when the rumor was about her. While relaxing in her dressing room during intermission, Phannie overheard the American mezzo-soprano Helena Miller talking in the hall. She was saying that Phannie poisoned Francesca s dinner and that the only reason she had been cast as the understudy in the first place was because she was knocked up by the conductor. The other members of the cast were buying every word. Of course none of this was true. What was true was that Helena had coveted Phannie s role but was assigned instead to play one of the princess s servants. Phannie calmly approached Helena and knocked her unconscious with one throw of her fist. The curtain rose for the final act and Phannie stole the show. As she took her final bow, she noticed that the front row of the audience was filled by a large group of women. What was peculiar was that these women were all wearing the same red blouses and black miniskirts. After the show, the same women were loitering outside the stage door. As Phannie came out, they pulled her aside. "You are amazing! "You sing so well! "We re the Hell s Belles, have you heard of us? they kept saying. Phannie had never signed an autograph before. It turned out they didn t want her autograph. They just wanted to buy her drinks and get to know her better.