I was on the run after a particularly nasty reign of terror on the West Coast where I busted out of Alcatraz and completed my most malicious crusade yet. The consequence: Las Vegas and the resulting movie “Showgirls”.

I sought refuge in North Carolina, where no sorority house was safe. I ended up in an old abandoned house when I came to realize that I was not alone. Within the bathtub of this house was a particularly tiny roller creature with speed and moves I can liken to no other. I feared that this tiny nuisance would distract me from planning my next tirade, what with her constant battle cry of "I'm huge in Japan!" echoing off the bathroom walls. When I finally corralled this freakishly small nuisance, I turned on the faucet and left her to suffer.

Years later, after I bit off Evander Holyfield’s other ear in a pay-per-view fight; I was tossed into the Elgin Mental Health Center and was reunited with this freak of nature, now known as Gigantor. She had grown to monstrous proportions and together we are more malevolent than apart.