Meet Lady Fingers.
This is the story of a once affluent Home Shopping Network hand model, with an affinity for bite-sized sandwiches, fingerless gloves and the severed digits of DERBY FOES.

Born in Sobriety Straight, France; the only child of a mortician and a hors d’oeuvre chef. Lady Fingers spent most of her carefree childhood in her daddy’s embalming parlour… which sometimes doubled as mom’s recipe kitchen.
In her demented mind formaldehyde and miracle whip went hand in hand.
As a teenager, her pale skin and extreme anatomical knowledge made her somewhat of an outcast. Lady Fingers drew her happiness from a few simple pleasures, stealing candy from school children, picking fights with the homeless and visiting the amputee ward at St. Patrick’s hospital.

St. Patricks is where Lady Fingers met her mentor, the once affluent European hand model Ménage A. Trois. Ms. Trois was a regular volunteer, who enjoyed helping the lower class French swine that frequented the hospital, for prostetic adjustments.
Ménage was entranced with the daintiness and freakishly translucent tone of Lady Fingers hands. Turns out all that time spent in the dark basement playing with toxins was about to pay off. Lady Fingers was brought to the U.S. and signed to one of the biggest hand modeling jobs in the world ? The Susan Lucci line for the Home Shopping Network.

Not used to all of the attention, and tacky accessories, Lady Finger transgressed into her own delusional world. She ran away to Chicago and became addicted to manicures and the thumb amputation scene in The Pope of Greenwich Village. She started carrying a cuticle cutter and was almost arrested for attempting to violently remove a strippers nail extensions, at VIP’s.

It was at the same strip club, that she first came in contact with several members of the WCR.
Courtney Shove and J’Illegal admired the agility she showed while wrestling the stripper…. and fighting off several horny brokers from the Merc. They convinced her that skating would relieve some of her aggression and promised her that for every goal she denied, SHE COULD TAKE THE FINGER of an opponent.

Lady Fingers accepted, and is currently serving as the official Sign Language Ambassador of the WCR.