BLOOMINGTON—Tragedy occurred today on the heels of a groundbreaking discovery that was poised to set the scientific world—and possibly the old familiar gas-pump—aflame. 

Attendees at this morning’s press conference announcing the discovery of a method for the extraction of a high-powered and clean-burning hydrogen fuel from ethanol—fermented corn—were shocked when Dr. Erica Wissenschaftler, the chemical engineer whose research was to culminate in triumph, exploded suddenly at the podium just after approaching the microphone.

Perhaps most tragically, Dr. Wissenschaftler is said to have been holding the notebooks containing her research formulae, thought to be the only copies in existence.

As the stricken scientists and reporters fled the press room’s thick smoke, some of Wissenschaftler’s colleagues were able to comment on the morning’s strange events:

"This work has attracted enormous interest in Indiana and throughout the nation because the state is a huge ethanol producer, and because of its implications for offsetting the coming oil crisis," said Northern Indiana University Chemistry Department Chair Dr. Manfred Mandible, "The world economy depends on it!  I think I singed my eyebrows!" 

 “She was under a lot of pressure,” commented research assistant Judy McFizzle, “We’ve been receiving calls for months from all kinds of characters, some oil company reps claiming interest in buying her research…and a lot of hang-up calls.  She thought we were under surveillance. She started making mistakes.  Last week she drank from one of the beakers.  Guzzled it.  When I called her on it, she said she thought it was her Mountain Dew.  I guess she was really tired…”

“Erica always was a bit of a loose cannon,” commented fellow researcher Dr. Elias Elephunk, “but I never thought she’d go this far.”

When asked to elaborate, Elephunk struck the microphone and ran from the room emitting high-pitched screams.

Confusion continued for hours after the explosion occurred.  Widely-circulated rumors of a shadowy, wheeled figure moving at lightning speed through the press room, hallways, and laboratories have not been substantiated, nor have any stepped forward to offer theories about the meaning of the writing discovered on the whiteboard behind the podium after the smoke had cleared:

“Dr. Wissenschaftler  is no more.  Meet Hoosier Mama: Posessed by the power of CORN!”