On a personal note, I love it so much when the ladies put together a vocal ensemble to sing the anthem. They’re like angels, glowing choir girls. No, I’m serious. Really. Forgive me if I seem overcome, But … Gosh. They made my skin go all pimply.

The half-time show featured the Hoopa Power ensemble, in their most artful appearance yet.

White vs. Black

The bonus game pitted the Black Plague (Ying, Di, Dee, Angel Dustt, Devi Metal, Van Dawl, Malice, Kola, Carnage Wilson, Ivanna Riot, Red Zeppelin, Yvette and Helsa) versus the White Unicorns (Kami Sutra, Ada Hatelace, Puck Eruption, Juanna, Abomb, Beth Amphetamine, Riley, Mo, Gigantor, Ivy Sedation and Wreck ‘n’ Shrew), coached respectively Mike Ondolences and Dr. Phil Thee, winners of the Ebay contest.

If the final score seems a bit lopsided, that consideration remains a secondary consideration to the fans’ delight at this chance to reshuffle the deck. Despite the fearsome sparkly soft-serve horns sported by the Unicorns, the Black team jumped out to an early lead and stayed there. Ying o’Fire, skating as the Ying D’Avenger in black batwings, and “Malice with Your Mom” had a field day

The most memorable moment occurred on the final jam. Kami Sutra and Angel Dustt (playing as Black Angel) donned the stars in their final WCR appearance before hanging up their skates. However, what began as a bittersweet adieu soon devolved into entropy, as all things must, as Kami was ejected for assaulting a referee with her horn. Soon the entire White bench flooded the track and gratuitous mayhem filled the oval as the buzzer ended the game.

Final Score: Black Plague 59 – White Unicorns 15

Hell’s Belles vs. The Double Crossers

The Windy City Rollers’ season wound up with an old-fashioned barn burner that kept the sell-out crowd on the edge of the bleachers until the final buzzer. At the start of the game, I expected the Hell’s Belles to administer one of their trademark bare-assed spankings, but the Double Crossers reached back and produced their best game this season. They kept the Belles and the rest of the stadium on tenterhooks until the closing seconds.

From the outset, it was clear that the Crossers had carefully considered the Varla dilemma. Judging by the evidence, their solution involved knocking her off the track as often as possible. Every time she tried to take off, a Crossers blocker would ride her like a carousel pony in the belief that she could wreak little havoc with her wheels spinning in the air. The Double Crossers, Donna Party in particular, have mastered the derby equivalent of a full-court press, harassing the jammer right from the starting line and all the way down the stretch.

While Nina Millimeter and Blossom Bruiso, the two metal fists of the Crossers defense, succeeded in negating the Varla factor, 4-year vet Athena deCrime managed to evade their assault and put up quite a few points for the Belles. In fact, the Belles held the Crossers scoreless after the sixth jam of the first half; however, the Crossers opened the second half with seventeen unanswered points, with Peg Legs perhaps making her most impressive showing of the season, and they climbed right back into the running.

But credit the top echelon Belles blockers, Megan Formor, Belle Diablo, Harmadillo, Mona Lott and May R. Daley, who consistently broke up the clogs in the passing lanes and holding off the Crossers incursions.

In the end, the nonpareil talent pool of the Hell’s Belles withstood a nailbiting late game rally from the Crossers. Had the game been five minutes longer, who knows whether or not the trophy would have changed hands. The Belles were saved by the buzzer and the team in red finally and deservedly embraced the elusive, but much yearned for, Ivy King Cup. This was the Hell’s Belles’ year, one that will be remembered by Windy City Rollers fans for years to come. Their stellar play has raised the bar for the whole league, and we look forward to 2009.

Final Score: Hell’s Belles 50 – Double-Crossers 46

Grand Slams: Peg Legs – XX (4)

Most Jam Points: Peg Legs – XX (27)

Most Blocks: Hoosier Mama – XX (10)

Most Whips: Megan Formor – HB (4)

Most Minor Penalties: Blossom Bruiso – XX (25)

Most Major Penalties: Belle Diable – HB (3), Hoosier Mama – XX (3)

Lead Jam %: HB (40.00%), XX (54.29%)