To kick things off, some oaf with a guitar manhandled our beloved national anthem and nearly ruined the entire evening. But all was forgiven when the Modern Arnis martial arts troupe came on at halftime with a lively demonstration of Filipino stick fighting.

Also of note in tonight’s proceedings were several occasions which found both sides’ jammers in the penalty box and the officials scrambling to re-compose the packs, and while this is an unfortunately typical scenario in national tournament play, this is the first occasion we can recall WCR’s jammers getting themselves into this pickle. We can only surmise that finding new and clever ways to take advantage of the major penalty for track-cutting is increasingly becoming part of WCR team strategy.

The Fury vs. Hell’s Belles

Well, at least no actual blood was spilled.

In the biggest brawl and closest game of the season (so far), the Hell’s Belles delivered their notice of intention to the Ivy King committee and minced no words in doing so. This toe-to-toe face-punching was much closer than the final score would indicate. This was also the best Fury showing yet this season, so the teams on their future dance card should take note.

The Cicero Stadium loudly welcomed Kola Loka, the Fury’s ace thoroughbred, back to the lineup after a prolonged idyll on the injury list. Kola instantly reminded everyone why she is the most exciting jammer in town. Finessing herself through the pack like some supersonic reptile, she exploits tiny interstices of space visible only to her eyes, where the rest of us see only solid walls of flesh, viscera and spandex.

However, winning has become a persistent habit for the Belles, and the night’s battle served to lengthen their streak. Add to the Varla/Athena one-two punch the up-and-coming jam threat Shocka Conduit; with her short torso and long spidery legs, hers is not an intimidating physique, but her battlefield victories here validate her.

The Fury’s biggest success was their containment of Megan Formor’s bludgeoning force; as a jammer, she only racked up five points all night, and her brutal blocks were often contained by a circling of orange wagons. And Varla Vendetta’s Achilles heel – the 20-foot rule – continues to haunt her; her blinding speed often carries her far far ahead of the pack in the pivot role. Meanwhile, Athena DeCrime has improved greatly as a speed demon and may soon become the league’s premier velocity girl.

In the evening’s most compelling display of “rub-dirt-on-it-and-walk-it-off” stoicism, in the third jam of the second half, Kola Loka took a monster hit on her shoulder (Separation? Dislocation? Sprain?) that sent to the inside track and ahead of the pack, and subsequently wobbling into the penalty box on a cutting major. With opposing jammer Shocka Conduit ineligible for lead and the jam grinding on for the entire two minutes, Kola amazingly roared out of the box and lowered the boom on Shocka. For the rest of the night, Kola played magnificently with her elbow cocked at an awkward angle, but it wasn’t enough against the Belles’ defensive wall of death, Belle Diablo, Phannie of the Opera, and May R. Daley; and as time wore on and Kola’s long break from the boards began to tell in exhaustion, the Belles extended their lead and cemented their victory.

Final score: Hell’s Belles 66, The Fury 43.

Manic Attackers vs Double Crossers

The Manic Attackers continue to puzzle their fans: their level of play continues to improve, yet that improvement doesn’t translate into anything resembling a win. Their carefree esprit de corps make them fun to cheer for and if there’s a harder working blocker than Wreck N Shrew, I haven’t seen her. Implacable and irresistible, the smart money remains on entropy and chaos in the long haul, so in the end, the Manics may rule us all; in the interim, the Double Crossers pretty much waltzed away with this one.

Peg Legs eschewed the star for much of the evening to hone her chops as a blocker, a role she filled quite well considering her lack of bulk. Watching her harry and slow down the opposing jammer while the other blockers effortlessly rippled to the front of the pack was instructive as well as hypnotic.

The Manics did show some innovation in their offensive play, with jammers taking whips from the tails of their blockers’ dresses, and stalwart pivot Helsa Wayton exercising her pecs through a plethora of pushes to her jammers’ tushes. But these assists meant little when they only served to propel the jammers to a dead stop against a disciplined front line of Crossers. Meanwhile, Manic jammers spent far too much time in the box, making it tough to score, even on those occasions when they could sneak past the unflappable XXers defense.

The XXers took advantage of this luxurious position by exercising some of their fresh meat, and Stella Sabotage joined her cohort Georgia On Yer Behind to put several Manics in a black-and-silver sandwich, while Reina Chaos got an introduction to the penalty seat. Georgia jammed as well, getting herself a nice grand slam; and the irascible Donna Party returned to the jammer position too, enjoying a nice leisurely conversation with Dr. Vroom on her way to scoring points in a slower-than-usual pack.

In the end, though they put more points on the board than they have yet this season, the Manics never had a chance, despite the thrilling jamming of Malice With Chains (is there anyone her endless legs CAN’T leap in a single bound?), the ferocious blocking of Ying O’Fire and Wreck N Shrew’s stubborn attempts to transform herself into a mis-guided missile.

Final score: Double-Crossers 94, Manic Attackers 39

Current Standings

HB (3-0, 71.0wp), XX (2-1, 58.0wp), TF (1-2, 44.4wp), MA (0-3, 30.0wp)

Bout Statistics

Grand Slams: Georgia On Yer Behind - XX (3)
Most Jam Points: Athena DeCrime - HB (22)
Most Blocks: Belle Diablo - HB (4), Beth Amphetamine - MA (4)
Most Whips: Goldie Shocks! - HB (2), Hoosier Mama - XX (2)
Most Minor Penalties: Beth Amphetamine - MA (33)
Most Major Penalties: Dina Discipline - HB (2), Jameson.aspx">Jameson.aspx">Jameson.aspx">Jameson - HB (2), Sonya MouthShut - TF (2), Varla Vendetta - HB (2)
Lead Jam %: XX (52.94%), HB (50.00%), MA (41.18%), TF (38.89%)