The Windy City Rollers treated its fans to two of the toughest and hardest-hitting games on record. These two games provided imperfect mirrors of each other; they reflected situations in which every point had to be scraped out of the oozing viscera of the other team and no quarter offered or yielded, with furious action in the pack and defensive play that threatened concussion – or worse – at every turn.

It all began, innocuously enough, with Dan Zapruder’s lilting and a capella version of the Star Spangled Banner. At halftime, the Read My Hips belly dance troupe stirred and delighted all with their abdominal undulations. (Surprisingly, the dude proved the best dancer in the harem with a spellbinding saber dance.)

Before it slips the mind, this year’s Windy City Rollers travel team will feature some new faces, one from each home team: Tori Adore (The Fury), Beth Amphetamine (Manic Attackers), Karma Geddon (Double Crossers) and Shocka Conduit (Hell's Belles) have stepped up to the elite level (three of them right out of the gate as WCR members) and we are all eager to see their chops.

Hell’s Belles vs. Double Crossers

In a rematch of 2007’s championship game, last year’s two most highly regarded teams came out swinging. The Belles clearly had the edge in pure muscle and were eager to flex for the crowd. Inasmuch as the Belles had a game plan, it apparently boiled down to “pummel Peg Legs,” and they executed with gusto. Throughout the first half, it seemed the Clyde Park maintenance crew should tie a broom to her butt and save themselves some work later that night; at any rate, she spent a significant part of the evening sliding across the floor. The primary agent of the Belles’ Peg Legs Demolition Unit was Megan Formor, who played like three or four blockers and merrily leveled any jammer that came near her.

Add to the above the hips and biceps of Belle Diablo, Harmadillo, Phannie of the Opera and May R. Daley and one wonders whether anything short of a crane will get the Double Crossers’ jammers out of their beds come Monday morning. Seldom could one of them slip through to the lead and the plexiglass barrier in front of the stats table rattled often and loudly as it smashed into the helmets of the Double Crossers. Mostly Peg Legs'.

The Double Crossers’ usual tactic is to control the pace of the pack with their distinctively synchronized and disciplined pack players, but here the Belles truly threw a wrench into the works by wresting pack control away from the assassins in black. The Belles accelerated play beyond the Crossers’ ability to control it, a tactic that set the table for the swift and slashing jamming style of Varla Vendetta. The Belles’ velocity girl buzzed quickly and nimbly through the pack when she wasn’t stringing it out for a free 20-foot pass-through.

The Hell’s Belles then clamped down, stranding the Double Crossers, who failed to score for the first 15 jams of the second half, which was all she wrote, game-wise. However, the black team bumped and buffeted their opponents to ensure the red team paid physically for all their points. Compelled to meet brute force with brute force, the penalty box became a popular rendezvous point for players of both teams, with queues forming occasionally to cope with the dearth of adequate seating. The acrimony peaked when fiery Hoosier Mama decked Megan with an elbow and lost her composure with the officials, prompting an ejection from the game.

The Hell’s Belles came to Cicero with something to prove on this night; they made a persuasive statement and left the bleachers filled with convinced fans.

Final Score: Hell’s Belles 65, Double Crossers 19

The Fury vs. Manic Attackers

On the Fury injury bench, Psyche O’Sis and Devi Metal kept Kola Loka company and the veteran Kami Sutra was out-o-town on biznazz. Although heavily favored by WCR followers, the Fury had their hands full all night long with a revved-up version of the Manic Attackers. The Manics were buoyed in part by the long-awaited return of Mo Vengeance, who proved a credible threat at the jammer position.

The Attackers’ attack was ferocious but undisciplined, with a large steady stream of miscreants skating in and out of the penalty box, perhaps their ultimate undoing. Of course, no defense exists for the blinding speed of Yvette YourMaker, the Fury’s fleet-footed fireball, who has never looked faster, making her way around the track in nine seconds flat. And Eva Dead proved just as formidable when she wore the star, scoring three grand slams, two of them in a single jam.

Di Richmond, Riley Coyote and Mo Vengeance all scored points for the Manics and should be ready in the future to provide relief for the awesome but overworked Malice With Chains. But perhaps the real key to the revitalized Manic Attackers is Ying O'Fire, who descended on the pack like a berserker Valkyrie, wreaking havoc throughout the match with an unnerving malicious glee. She was frequently seen launching herself like human missile at the Fury’s toughest blockers, a daunting rogue’s gallery that includes Hausa Pain, Sonya MouthShut, Tori Adore and Donna D. Apocalypse. Although she often bounced off these rolling powerhouses, more often than not ricocheting into the penalty box, she sufficiently disrupted the pack to let a Manic jammer slip through.

In the final analysis, we can draw a few conclusions. Go-Go Hatchet is on the verge of becoming a top-echelon jammer and will adequately fill the shoes of the gone-but-not-forgotten Anne Putation for the Fury. And, even though they lost the game by a substantial number of points, it feels like the Manic Attackers won something today. The crowd was certainly on their side, cheering with abandon as the Manics gained the lead briefly in the first half. We can hope that this is a harbinger of things to come: there are no foregone conclusions in the WCR.

Final Score: The Fury 71, Manic Attackers 42

Current Standings

HB (2-0, 76.8wp), XX (1-1, 48.9wp), TF (1-1, 46.9wp), MA (0-2, 30.4wp)

Bout Statistics

Grand Slams: Eva Dead - TF (3), Athena DeCrime - HB (2), Yvette YourMaker - TF (2), Di Richmond - MA (1), Go-Go Hatchet - TF (1)
Malice With Chains - MA (1), Mo Vengeance - MA (1), Shocka Conduit - HB (1), Varla Vendetta - HB (1)
Most Jam Points: Eva Dead - TF (37)
Most Blocks: Megan Formor - HB (6)
Most Whips: Belle Diablo - HB (2), Hausa Pain - TF (2), Ying O'Fire - MA (2)
Most Minor Penalties: Juanna Rumbel - TF (20)
Most Major Penalties: Ying O'Fire - MA (5)
Lead Jam %: HB (69.70%), TF (68.75%), MA (28.13%), XX (27.27%)